Stop "acting" and start "being"!

When I was growing up, I was told many times, "You need to act like a fine young man!" Of course, my mother and father were trying to teach me how to behave properly and have good manners.

Then as I got a little bit older, I was instructed to act like a good student in school. I was being taught to demonstrate good behavior in class and to be respectful to my teachers so that I would not get into trouble.

Because of the strong Christian faith of my mother, I was also told, "You must act like a good Christian today." She wanted me to display the characteristics of love and compassion towards other people, and have an attitude that was pleasing to God and man alike.

In military school the command was to, "Act like a good soldier!" It was a very challenging time because we were taught personal discipline and responsibility. We were also required to get up early and made to stay up late.

Once I got married I was told, "You need to act like a good husband by demonstrating love, consideration and kindness toward your wife. Be thoughtful and understanding of her needs and feelings."

A few years later, after we had children, I was instructed, "You need to act like a good father. Spend time playing with your children and nurturing them. Train them and guide them in the ways of life so they will grow up to be productive people."

Later still, when I was a Youth Director, I was told, "You must act like a good minister." To do that it meant visiting people in the hospital, performing funerals and weddings, and helping as many people as possible.

Finally, when I got involved in the business world, I was coached to "act like a good business owner." People would encourage me to be cautious with my business plan and watch the "bottom line" carefully. I was told that cash flow was the life-blood of any business and I should make sure that my outgo did not exceed my income or my upkeep would be my downfall!

While I appreciate very much all of the advice I was given by the many people in my life, I have come to see that although it was very helpful, it created a problem. What I discovered was that I actually became an outstanding actor! What I should have been focusing on in every one of those situations was being, not acting.

I had an interesting conversation last week that prompted this Tip and I asked permission to share it. My Administrative Director, Nancy, called me to say that she was running a little late to work because she was trying to "get her act together." I jokingly said, "No, you need to stop acting and start being." When she asked what I meant by that, I related to her all of my own shortcomings as mentioned in the above scenarios. She said "That is quite a different way of looking at things." I totally agree.

Each day we have a choice to make. We can either put on an act for others to see or we can truly be the person we were intended to be. We need to be a fine young man, be a good father (or mother), be a good business person, etc. I know this is a very fine point but, finer distinctions will make the difference in someone's life between being a good person and being a great person.

It is amazing to me that when I focus on what am I actually trying to become, rather than just on how I am to act, it makes a world of difference.

I have given up acting! I do not want to act any more because it does not produce any long-term effects. But, when I work to become someone who is real and am able to operate in all of the above areas of life in a way that is honorable and fitting, it begins to mold and shape my heart and mind. I have found this to be one of the most powerful concepts that I experience on a daily basis.

Why not join me and give up acting and start being? Whether or not people notice it really does not matter. You will notice it and that is what counts!

This information is provided in congruence with Personality Insights USA.