There is a big difference between intentions and behaviors!

Most of you have heard the expression, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions!” I heard that saying as a child and often wondered what it meant, but now I understand it very clearly. Many of us think that if our intentions are good, that should be worth something. But there is a major challenge with that concept. Our intentions cannot be seen. The only thing that can actually be seen is our behavior.

Intentions are important. After all, intentions represent the motivation and the attitude behind our actions. However, you can have the purest motives in the world, but if the behavior is not communicated clearly, then you will be misunderstood. No one has the ability to read another person’s mind. You may have the best of intentions and your motives may be pure, but again, simply having a good intention does not compensate for misunderstood behavior. Perhaps an illustration will help.

If you owe someone money and you promise to pay them on the 15th of next month, you may have every intention of paying it. You may have a good attitude about paying them. You might write them a note to tell them you are going to pay what you owe. You could even call to say you are going to pay them. But, the person who is waiting to receive the money is only looking for one thing - whether or not you actually fulfill your promise and pay them on the 15th just like you said you would.

An unexpected event could occur which would cause you to be unable to pay what you intended. And while the reason may be legitimate and very understandable, no one can read your intentions. They can only see your behavior.

Strangely, we tend to want others to judge us by our intentions, yet we judge everyone else by their behavior. It would be better to judge ourselves by our behavior and offer grace to others and judge them by their intentions. Unfortunately, that is not the way it usually works.

How often do we try to explain a situation to another person from our perspective? We say things like, “Well, I thought you would understand what I was trying to do.” Or, “I did not mean to communicate that in an offensive way.” Or, “I know I promised to pay you on a certain day and I had every intention of doing so, but some unexpected events occurred.” I can see some of you smiling as you are reading those statements. We have all had them said to us and perhaps at one time or another we have said them to other people. Again, it comes down to your behavior. You can have the best of intentions and make all of the promises in the world, but in the end, people are going to watch what you do. As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”

I encourage you to ask yourself if your behavior is demonstrating your intentions. Remember that no one can read your mind. No one has any idea what your intentions are. Even if they are noble and great, they must still be backed up by good behavior and quality action.

Consider this in your personal life whether it is at school, at home or at work. You will see your relationships grow and become healthier when you begin to understand the difference between intentions and behavior. I can assure you that if your behavior demonstrates honesty, integrity and character when dealing with others, they are more likely to realize that you have good intentions. The proof will be in the pudding!

This information is provided in congruence with Personality Insights USA.